Am I My Brother's Keeper

Last saturday my morning began with me getting up @ 7am. I pulled my jeep out the garage and gave it a good washed down. As I was washing the car , I put on the music of Motown. Oh yea !!! Jammin early in the morning , crunning to the sound of the Temptations, the Supremes , Smokey Robinson and more.

The sun was coming up , the temperature was rising. I knew it was going to be a good day.

After washing the car , I dropped the top of the jeep. Jumped in the shower , threw on my gym clothes and headed to the gym.

Driving down the streets and the boulevards , the sun was beamimg bright and hot down on me. Jammin and being so cool as I am. Checking out the people who's checking me out.

I pulled up to the gym , get out my car , straddeling my leather backpack and strutting to the door like I was John Travolta. I can see the people in the front of the gym checking me out too. That's right ! I'm cool.

I worked out for two hrs that day , I wanted to make sure that I was tight and fit for the beautiful day that was upon me. After doing cardio and strength training , I wanted to seal it off by going into the sauna. The sauna to me , is the best thing to help a person lose weight. It burns fat and calories quicker and faster than any other equipment.

I stepped inside of the sauna , there were two people inside. A man and a woman. I had my ipod on because it's difficult for me to stay in there due to the heat. So I listen to my music trying not to concentrate on how hot it is.

The man and woman were conversating about how long each could stay in there. I turned down music to ease drop , some call that ear hustling. The lady said that she was able to stay in there for an hr. I couldn't believe what I had just heard. I'm only able to stay in there for only 15 minutes. I took off my earphones and asked , did you say a hr. She replied , yes and sometimes longer. Well , that started a conversation that lasted enough for me to feel rejuvenated.

After the sauna , I went into the locker room , feeling wet and sweaty.

I opened my locker pulled out my backpack , thinking I'll take a shower when I get home. Yea ! that's what I'll do.

I slung the backpack over my shoulder and strolled through the gym as though Richard Gear was walking through the lobby of the Beverly Hills Hotel.

I jumped into the jeep , cranked up the tunes once again , threw on the shades and drove away like..... damn he's gone.

I headed to my parents house , my brothers were suppose to be over there. I couldn't wait to show off both vehicles. Me and the car. Both were detailed and supped up. We always were competitive in life. I looked at it as something positive , something that kept me on my toes and made me strive harder. However , my brothers looked at it totally different.

My older brother was jealous of me every since high school. I remember he would tell people at school that we weren't brothers. Over the years , he would say and do things displaying his jealousy. I , on the other hand , never understood it. However , I always over looked it and tried my hardest to keep peace between my brothers and myself , but things never turns out the way you want them to all the time.

So I pulled up my parents driveway. My father is sitting on the stairs of the porch. I jumped out the car feeling like a million bucks . As I walked aroud the car ,I see my backpack in the passenger seat. I said to my father , I better not leave this in here. So I grabbed the backpack and headed into the house. I laid the backpack on the kitchen counter. My brother appeard from the basement , looking high , tired and yet friendly. I'll talk about the drug thing some other time.

We go outside , chit chatting about my jeep , how nice and clean it was. They asked me what I used to get my tires clean etc.

I go inside the house to get some water , inside I heard my phone ringing. The phone's at the bottom of the backpack. I pulled all the articles that were inside of it and placed them on the counter. I answer the phone. It was a called that took me away from the responsibility of watching my bag.

Not thinking anything , I went back outside to continue our conversation between myself and them. The more we were talking , the more I was noticing the highness of my brother. I wanted to inform my father , since my father had said he could never tell when my brother is high.

So , I went inside looking for my father as he had left us for a moment. I called for him and I herd his voice respond from the basement. As I saw my father , a man that has become somewhat old. At that moment , to me ....my father was not this youthful man I've always known. A man that was a MAN in all aspects.

Nope ! I couldn't tell my father my brother was high. I decided ,why put anymore pain on him. We , my brothers and I had just reconciled over the last three months. We weren't speaking for over two to three years.

After the boreness began to wear on , I thought it was time to hit the road. I said my fairwells and jumped back in the batmobile.

Back on the boulevard and jammin once again. Feeling high myself , high on life that is. As I was thinking about my plans for the rest of the day , a thought came to mind. My mind was saying , where's your wallet. At that second of that thought , my heart started beating faster before my investigation of my intuition.

I pulled over , grabbed my backpack , pulled everything out. I couldn't find it. I jumped outside my car. Looking under the seats , in the seats , between the seats and at a time ,even under the car. I was desperate. My mind were shifting gears. Gears that were shifting right to the place my intuition had been waiting. Yep ! crack haven. I was heated. That mother !!! Uh wheee I was hot. I called my parents house no answer. My hands were shaking as I dialed their number. I called my mother , told her that her crackhead son had stolen my wallet. She probably didn't understand a word I was saying because I was screaming with frustration and urgency.

I called my brother. He answered , I asked if i could speak to my father. He gave the phone to him. I told my father what had happened. I could tell that he was hurt. Hurt for the simple fact that yes , we had just reconciled , yes that's what my parents were probably praying for , yes the family had peace again ,and yes this is Fucked up.

I went home in disbelief that this really did happened. My brother. The brother that had finally came around as a true brother. The brother that I was looking forward to spending time with . The brother I always loved. The brother I never knew.

I am a christian believer. I understand the bible oh so well. I might not live it ,but I do understands it. I know that this life is between good and evil ,right and wrong , and God and satan. I know that whenever something is of good , satan's right there to make bad.

My family is a christian based family , rooted from my mom. The good she does for God , is truly disturbing to satan. Therefore, the peace my family had for that short moment will be cherished forever. I used to be the kind of person that would desperately try to mend things , but this is where wisdom comes in. For if I didn't have such solid faith , I would too be cracked out.

I have not heard from any of my brothers and don't think I will anytime soon. Yet , am I my brother's keeper . Yes I am.

Ghetto Fabulous

Some of you might know that I'm a GQ type of guy. I love fashion , name brands and the sex appeal that some acquires from it. By no means am I conceited. A little vain at times.

When I was in the sixth grade I remember wanting a pair of Nikes. I had asked my mom , I remember very vividly , with urgency if I could have a pair . I had to have them . Instead , she takes me out to K-mart and bought me some "Buddies". Yep ! Buddies. The old slip and slide . As she picked them up from the rack , it was as though someone was dangling a rat in front of my face. I was scared and frighten that the kids would tease and laugh at me. Saying things like ......... I guess you're getting ready for skating season huh or hope some breaks were installed on those shoes. I couldn't wait to start working so I could buy my own clothes.

At the age 16 I started working at the Oakwood Country Club as a caddy. Carrying clubs around 18 holes for those assholes in 90 degree heat for hrs. I would occasionally think about slavery days. Thinking about Kunta Kinta being out in the cotton field. Man ! I couldn't have done it. I would have been one of the first that jumped off the ship before coming to america.

After receiving my first check from the Oakwood planation , I wanted to buy a Members Only jacket. Remember those ? Well, my mom thought I should save my money by going to Value City and purchase their version of the Members Only . Not ! I went right up to Severance mall , there was a store called Man Talk . A store that geared to the cool and sophisticated kind of guy.

So when I arrived at the store , I felt like Popeye , abut to eat his spinach. I looked for the color I wanted , which was black. I then found one that fitted me like a pair a jeans out of the dryer , just right . When I had put it on, you would've thought Superfly son was born. I was cooler than cool. Smoother than smoothe. I was feeling like the Fonz. Okay ! you get the point.

Yesterday evening a friend and myself went downtown to a mexican restaurant called Zacolos. It's on 4th street between Euclid and Prospect.

It's a casual place , decorated in a spanish flavor , not over bearing. Their food is exceptionally good and most of all....... it's the best place on that street to people watch because of it's location. It's placed right in front of the valet sation that is used by all of the restaurants on that street. You get the see all the who's and who's not. From Bentleys and Jags to ........... well you know, those economical cars.

We sat outside , where I usually sit. We had the middle table , right in front of the valet spot. The view was perfect ,the weather was soothing , yes it's summer time again I thought.

The pleasant waitress took our order and the stage was set. One by one, they started to stroll on down. Then comes more and more. Now I'm questioning myself .......something must be going on. Then they started coming in flocks and my eyes were being amused at every level of entertainment. It was my sistas ! (Black American Women) My sistas were throwing down. So they thought ! It was like a parade of the Zulu tribe going to Disney Land. I mean from shape and sizes .To color and length it was all there. There were women dresses shorter than a shrunk up ankle sock that slides down your shoe and can't say on your feet. It was asses so big , was wondering if they would get up from their beds and pull of the sheets off with the cracks of their butts. We saw women with summer long dresses made out of spandex material. Most of them you could tell weren't wearing any undies. All you saw were nothing but jigglin and shakin , which caused major .......you know when someone clothes is stuck in their butts. I can't think of that word , but you know what I'm talking about.

These women were going somewhere. I needed to know.As we glared and stared , I started noticing something else. I notice that most of these women were on the larger scale. Not larger in life ,got it goin on or like that I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T song , but on the weight scale. Now I don't have anything against the BBW (Big Beautiful Women). It just so happen that the majority was what you would call "thick".

Two tables away from us was this couple that were being just as amused as we were. Across the street from them were a restaurant called Flannery's. A irish restaurant that has big bay windows for their patrons too could enjoy the site seeing adventure as well. There sitting in a couple of the bay windows were , I assume the kitchen help , lounging and checking out the parade of Zulus themselves. We noticed that those guys were entertaining the couple , two tables away from us by giving the thumbs up or down for each contestant that were apart of the show.

As the number started to increase , so was my curiosity. I waited to find one of the Zulu members alone , away from the pack . I found one ! She was vulnerable I can tell. Though she weren't as bad as her members , but yet she was still a Zulu.

I asked her if there was something going on. She replied , joe's giving a concert. That explained it. I had heard on the radio about this concert and that some lucky woman would have a chance at getting a date with him. It all came to the understanding. Not the agreement , but understanding. It explain why elephants with the big booties, it explains why the monkeys outfits, it explains the peacocks with the different color hair and it explained why Jane of the jungles had little clothing on.

There was one at the end of te parade that gave the finale. She was about 5'3 weighed around 198. She had coco brown skin. Her dress was long linen with very few etching of red around the neck of the dress. She was wearing these humongus sun glasses that reminded me of the movie "The Fly".

The hair was colored with orange and red. It wa also a quick weave and for those that don't know what a quick weave is ...... it's look like one of those helmets used by the spartans in battle. It looks like it's glued to the head and the hair looks like brissels from the brush you use to clean the snow off your car. The front of this hair piece was drooped over to the side like a vine of grapes hanging from a branch. After seeing that , I thought for sure she was going to break out with a spear and chant ...UGA , UGA ,UGA.

Driving home I knew I was going to blog this and as I was thinking about it all the way home . I came to MY conclusion that I kinda felt sorry for some of them. I felt sorry that some of them have never been expose to anything other than what they see and know. I felt sorry for those , as they walked through this alley as though it was some kind of soul train line. There were discomfort in some of their faces as they strolled down with their heads hanging low , avoiding eye contact. Were they uncomfortable beause they don't know or because we made them feel uncomfortable with our staring as they were some kind of freaks in a circus.

We the American people said tha we need a change. We have program for this and that. Why don't we have program to assist people to find their own identity, motivate and encourage. Teach them the value of integrity , dignity , and a sense of class.

Obama is putting a lot a money into wellness. Lets hope that fashion will too be apart of that change as well.

The begining of Surviving a Lie

I guess it all begins at the early stage of our lives , speaking in the first ... my life. From what I can remember of my childhood ...... a little boy that craved attention , yearned for love and desired acceptance.

I'm going to call this little boy "little boy Johnny in a box ". Little boy Johny in a box throughout time eventually had experienced much of thoses feelings. However, through experiences , he learned that all of his wishes ,thoughts , hopes , and anticipations were nothing but a silhouette of the imagination.

So .... come along and enjoy the adventure of Little boy Johnny in a box. I'm quite sure you won't wanna miss a episode .